Yup, the impossible has happened! At the time of this writing (July 22, 2025) the Godfather of Heavy Metal, Ozzy Osbourne, has passed away. So how do I commemorate his passing? By quoting the Dave Matthews Band, of course! 😭😭😬😬 But yeah, that’s just the mood I’m in these days. I just don’t have anything to say that’s worth hearing. Remember all those plans I made on the last post about going CLUBBING and what-not? Yeah, that 💩💩 ain’t happening!
Let me back it up a bit: As you may or may not know (or care) I work as a delivery “boy” for GrubHub. Notice how I put the word BOY in quotes and not the word WORK, because frankly, I barely work for these cunts at all! The GrubHub app has been failing so badly for about seven months now. Every time an order pops up on the app, I never even get the chance to glance at it before it VANISHES. I mean, as soon as I click the app icon, within .5 seconds I get an error message saying “Offer Has Expired” and it’s GONE!
This has led to a lot of dropped orders, and with GrubHub, the more orders you drop, the fewer you’ll be getting. So basically, the app makes it impossible for you to do your job. And no matter how many times I call up GH’s Customer Service line (usually some asshole sitting on his couch in India or China!) I get the same answer: “Maybe there’s something wrong with your phone? Try this-that-and-the-other.” This has been going on for SEVEN FUCKING MONTHS now!
They tell me their Development Team is “On the case” and they’ve had a lot of problems like these with Androids before. So what do I do? Desperate ol’ broke-ass me, who’s just trying to hold onto a job? I went out and bought an iPhone from Metro by T-Mobile. And guess what? The SAME FUCKING THANG HAPPENED! With an iPhone 14, no less! I mean…I have…no words! And I know I shouldn’t say this, but I was past my breaking point for a while last week (notice how I didn’t use the “S” word! ☠️☠️☠️).
Basically, GrubHub is done. But it’s alright, since my savior came in the strangest of places: An app called Uber “Shop & Pay.” Can U freakin’ believe that! The one facet of Uber’s business that they kept around just for shits n’ giggles is now kicking the 💩💩 out of both Instacart AND GrubHub. So there’s that, plus it seems like the Bottom of the Hill (Camarillo & all points West on the 101 Freeway) is back to making 💰💰💰 as far as giving rides is concerned. So…I really didn’t get into why this post was titled “Crash Into Me”, but I think you’ve heard enough for one day. Until next time, BOTH of my readers (God, that joke never gets old! 😂😂😂) Love, Peace and…👡👡👡!
Johnny