Actually, it should be welcome to TWO clubs for the Johnny, because not only did I go clubbing…
…for the first time in years, but I also did something else that I never do. You might wanna grab a seat, son. This is gonna take a while!
About 2.5 years ago, (December 22, 2021, to be exact) my beloved employers Uber & Lyft decided to make some drastic changes to their pay structure. Oh, wait a minute, that’s right: Technically, those guys aren’t my employers because I’m a gig worker. I’m not afforded the same inalienable rights as you regular Americans. Life? Liberty? Pursuit of Happiness? No problem. Just don’t ask about any health benefits, retirement or unemployment insurance.
But most importantly, we drivers can’t UNIONIZE! Which is why back in December 2021, both of those companies decided we were making way too much money in bonuses…and promptly took them away. No more Weekly bonuses, no more Weekend bonuses, no more Streak boosts, no more extra incentives. At the time, this was tantamount to about a 30 percent reduction in my overall revenue. That’s right…30 GODDAMNED PERCENT! And no state regulators or unions could tell them otherwise.
As you can imagine, this wasn’t just devastating for the Johnny…it was downright CRIPPLING! We’re talking deep depressions, drastic mood-swings and isolating like you wouldn’t believe. A social life? N-Word, please! I’m not about to go out clubbing and put even more 💰💰 into crooked-ass Uber & Lyft’s pockets. So for 2.5 years, it’s been nothing but Ben & Jerry’s and Netflix (without the chill!) for the Kid. Until THIS happened…
Don’t know what those are? Of course you don’t. Ladies and gentlemen, what you see before you are a couple of screenshots of the L.A. Metro 224 Bus Schedule. If you take a look at the bottom of the first photo, you’ll see that not only does this bus go straight from Hollywood to Sun Valley, but it does so…🎶”All Night Long!”🎶 This was such a groundbreaking event for me that I decided to join the TikTok Family! Get a load of my celebration dance!
Now, don’t get me wrong. The last 2.5 years have been a blessing. After all, it was all this moping around that gave me the time to write this blog. I’ve even given this era a nickname. From this point forward, this time period shall be dubbed the “‘Coon Era”; so named because I accidentally ran over a racoon while driving for Uber back in July, 2022. Still haven’t gotten the side of my car completely fixed. But I’m happy to say that the “‘Coon Era” is officially over…at least that’s what I’m 🙏🙏🙏. Any-who, enuff’ with all this self-pitying crud. Until next time, Love, Peace and 👡👡👡!
Johnny
