Welcome Back!

Remember back in October when I was crying and laughing at the same time because both the Dodgers and Trump got their crowns? I said Simi Valley has got some beautiful parks, and man, was I right!

But back to the title above. So who exactly is welcoming me back? Or who exactly am I welcoming back? Which one is the tail and which one is the 🐕🐕? Well, a little bit of BOTH, actually. You see that green lanyard around my neck up there? That’s from a company I swore up-and-down I would never work for again: That world-renown grocery delivery “service” known as Instacart. Yeah right! The only thang that’s gonna be serviced when you work for them is your AUTOMOBILE!

I mean, just a garbage freakin’ company, which I’m sure you probably already knew. The items on the app don’t line up with the inventory on the shelves, the app is always malfunctioning, and the customer service reps don’t speak a word of English; assuming you can get anyone to talk to you at all! Just a 💩💩 company!

So if the company is so bad, why work 4 them at all, Johnny? Oh, that’s right: Your other company is a total turd factory too! Thanks a lot GrubHub for NOT letting me schedule any hours despite me being one of your best drivers! Honest to God, if GH or Instacart were a human being, I would swear they had DIRT on somebody!

And actually, there are a few other tidbits I wanted to bring up this week, but you know what, I think I’m gonna stop. That’s it for now. Final note here: Apparently, if you’re trying to get some cute DUCKS into your shot, the best way to lure them over is with some bread…even though the park rangers tell you not to. I dunno. 😕😕 Until next time, dear readers: Love, peace and 👡👡👡!

Johnny